The story of a girl who bought the farm, the horses and a backhoe.
by Billie on May 15th, 2008 • No Comments »
I just got off of the phone with the lad formerly known as my crushee. The ridiculous stage is now history. One of my friends had emailed me last night, stating that he did not approve of my having a crush on someone and wanting to know who the fellow was (since it seemingly was not him). I realized that I do not approve of my having a crush on anyone either, especially as the timing could not possibly be worse. So, that is that. He will remain a friend. I will be his sounding-board. It is a good fit.
Today I worked 3 horses in the early hours of the morning, then received a call from work. Celebrating the facility’s last day, everyone was gathered for a picnic, to which I was invited. It was somewhat depressing to say goodbye to the people that I had seen every day - even those that I was not particularly close to. My former crushee was one of the few not in attendance. That was most disappointing. One of the other fellows decided that we should have a grope session in one of the offices. Not a good idea. His most unwelcome advances left me utterly pissed (sorry for the language, that was the most benign turn of phrase that I could use). He is a lawsuit waiting to happen. Good luck to his next employer as well as to his wife and female colleagues. Seriously, what a distasteful train wreck.
So, I promptly left and ran a few errands. The first of which was going to the feed store to buy some grain (I forgot to phone in my order yet again). Happily, my friend Adam works at this particular store so we had a good chat and made plans to meet up in a couple of weeks. It has been a couple of years since we last did anything together, which is another sad fact of adult life.
I feel compelled to insert my new big idea here. Simply, to reconnect with friends, spend quality time with people whose company I enjoy and even (gasp) get out there and meet some new people. The hermetic life can be overrated. The farm will always be my first priority, but I do plan on going up north to do some hiking in between shows and other related commitments. Perhaps I will find other interests to occupy some of my time, rather than being so obsessed with work. That may be a stretch, but sometimes stretching is good.
At any rate, I picked about 6 or 8 pounds of asparagus, which are now clean and bagged in the refrigerator. I just need to get diesel fuel for the tractor and drop some asparagus off at my neighbor’s, then feed the animals, and the night is mine! Hooray for Thursday. I love The Office. Really, I was resistant at first being a huge fan of the British version, but our version is nearly as good. It is a little, pleasant something to look forward to mid-week. The call back from my former crushee will be nice too.
Uncategorized
by Billie on May 14th, 2008 • No Comments »
I woke obnoxiously early this morning, and decided to put a saddle on Duncan for the first time. He was not amused. Fortunately, he was cooperative, but after jumping around and getting a few good bucks out, he decided that it was no longer prudent to move. At all. I literally had to take the saddle off to put him back into his turnout. Never in my years have I come across this response in any horse!
Mirelle and I went for our first ride of the season (I have been working her on the line and in-hand). She was a bit pushy and determined to get her way, but we worked through her tantrums and had a fairly nice hack. Real work won’t start for several weeks, as I need to do tons of trot sets to get her back into some semblance of shape. My goal is to get her out to a couple of Dressage shows in July/August and to the Otter Creek horse trials this fall.
Two client-owned horses will be arriving within the next week or so, which is exciting. One is a coming 3 year old filly with a very challenging personality. The other is a yearling that I will be taking out on the circuit to qualifying for the biggest of the big shows - Dressage at Devon.
My summer is taking shape at last! The other two yearlings that I will be campaigning should be here by month’s end.
So, after working a few horses I went into town (Wausau of course) to pick up my lovely tile.
They did not have enough of the tile that I want, so my purchase will be delayed by several days. In the meantime, I have decided that I will put radiant heat into the bathroom floor, so another large hunk of cash will be spent on making my bathroom the height of luxury. If only one room is going to be finished in the near future, I plan on going a bit overboard.
Instead of stewing, I went to pay a call to my favorite florist. The ladies at this particular shop are supportive of my ridiculous attention to detail, and essentially let me into the back room to design my own pieces and obsess over vessel choices. I bought arrangements for my friend Katrina, my mother and my crushee (strictly as a friendly/supportive gesture). To my way of thinking, it is cool to give man-flowers. I like clean, strong lines with little fluff or filler, which often works for men anyway.
For his birthday last month, I gave my brother a floral arrangement. He was quite surprised and pleased. No one had ever given him flowers before. I find that sad. He displays the vase in a prominent position in his dining room.
After delivering flowers around town, I went to dinner with a group of friends. Our plan had been to go to ladies’ night at Bullshooters (egads - Wranglers make me want to run screaming into the night, cowboy hats and boots elicit an even stronger response). I do admit that the mechanical bull is really fun to ride. If I could justify it, I think I would buy a mechanical bull for my own amusement. Our plan is to show up in breeches and tall boots some night just to see how the good western folks respond. At any rate, tonight was a wash as one of the gang had a sick child and couldn’t make it. Instead I picked up a couple of grown-up style pizzas and salad, and met everyone at Katrina’s house.
Ladies night at home is much more relaxing than ladies night at a bar. The one weapon that I have recently added to my going out arsenal are stickers from work… they have a large red field with “rejected” written in white. They are about 3 x 6″ and I am not afraid to stick them on the annoying, groping, ogling men that swarm women in bars. All womankind should carry a roll of these in their handbags at all times.
I guess that summarizes my wisdom for the day.
Uncategorized
by Billie on May 13th, 2008 • One Comment »
The good news.
I went shopping for tile yet again, and found the most gorgeous travertine… once I have a friend check my math, I will be plunking down a fairly hefty chunk of change to get the tile. Oh, and of course all of the materials needed for setting tile. That includes grout. I hate grouting. It is one hell of a mess. Oh well, in due time I will have one room in my house that is in what I consider livable condition. Oh, and I found some very awesome light fixtures that will have to come home with me. I will have a really cool bathroom soon! Guests will be forced to use the upstairs bath.
In a veritable fit of ambition, I worked 4 horses today and took a brief ride on my pony. It is nice to get back into the swing of things, and to have not been killed, maimed or even injured in the process. Duncan (who is turning 3 and is as full of testosterone as a horse can be) has been trying on all sorts of naughty behavior of late, but he does try to listen in between temper tantrums. I am both extremely excited and nervous as hell to start his training under saddle. I take solace in knowing that he still has a great deal of growing to do, so it is actually good for him physically if I wait to start him.
I am trying to motivate myself to get back into fencing mode (day two that all of the horses stayed where they belong). There are 6 horses on the waiting list to come here from various long-term clients. I should really get my bum into gear. Facing the fence by myself has been an exercise in futility over the past couple of months, so I procrastinate. It is pretty shameful of me, I know.
The really crap news.
This weekend, I am going to Chicago with Kevin (the “ex”). His father’s health is deteriorating rapidly. So much so, that he is now in a hospice facility, rather than at home with hospice staffers in attendance. The doctors believe that he will not be with us for longer than a month, at best. I love this man dearly, and have a closer relationship with him than with my own father. I need to be there. I wish the situation were different. I would prefer struggling with the fence.
My plan is to drive down with Kevin and stay at my aunt’s house, which is less than an hour from the city. At least it will minimize the discomfort on both of our parts. His father will never know the reality of the situation. It would only cause him pain. Subterfuge is tiresome, but sometimes necessary.
Uncategorized
by Billie on May 12th, 2008 • No Comments »
Today was the most frivolous day I have spent in a long, long while… well, that is a lie. Yesterday was pretty lazy too.
It started the other night (Saturday if I remember correctly). I was feeling pretty low, so I whipped up some lobster risotto with fresh asparagus from my “garden” - it was the height of decadence. Just what the vet ordered. My motivation spiked and I started tearing carpeting out of my “dressing room” (really a big room off of the bedroom with little discernable purpose other than a junk repository). I woke happy, and decided to continue the trend.
Since I am a parent or sorts, albeit to far too many animals, I was invited to a Mother’s Day barbecue at a friend’s home. Her mother, various aunts and very elderly grandmother welcomed me to the fold in the way that they have for many years now. It is nice to have adopted family.
Even better, I allowed myself to spend the entire day in the pursuit of simple pleasures.
I cooked for others. Ate. Watched cartoons. Was treated to a stack of hand-written recipes and a hand-made pair of earrings from one of the aunts. Played in the great outdoors with three extremely lovely little boys. Got pee on my arm when one of aforementioned young men wet his pants and I carried him into the house for a change. No day is perfect, but it came close enough to appease me.
Today, I went shopping for tile and paint. No dice in the decision making process, but I brought enough samples home to keep me occupied for a while. The biggest problem that I choose to acknowledge right now is the fact that while my bathroom countertop and shower surround are cream colored, the toilet is white. I really don’t want to replace the thing, but I really can’t come up with a way to make it work. What to do?? It is literally making me a bit batty.
This afternoon, I had lunch with my crushee. He is a source of decidedly pleasant company. The pulled-pork nachos (I am turning into a raging carnivore) at George’s were pretty good too. Smoking meat should be considered an art form, but as always, I digress. Since my crushee has begun to read this of late, I hereby choose to wax poetic no more.
Later, I visited my sister and did a little bit of shopping for (gasp) myself. I have very few items of clothing that are wearable in public. My riding wardrobe is relatively extensive and high-end. I have tons of garments that have been relegated to “barn wear”, but nothing that makes me feel human in public. So, I bought a hoodie (not something I tend to wear often in public, but it is comfy), some white capris, an argyle sweater (oh how rapturous, I simply adore argyle) and some flip-flops. Seriously, I counted 13 pair of flip-flops in my shoe rack this evening. I really am turning into a teenager.
My day ended with a little coffee and friendly banter, then home to care for the animals. Everyone had remained in the paddocks to which they were assigned! Miracle of ages!
As I write now, I am wrapped in the warm glow of promise. It is almost as nice as my electric blanket.
Uncategorized
by Billie on May 10th, 2008 • 5 Comments »
I am so conflicted right at the moment. The idea of tossing a bucket on my head and running repeatedly into a brick wall sounds quite delightful.
Yesterday was my last day at work (which I referred to as my “social experiment”). Being in an office setting and temporarily focusing my time and energies on simple tasks while indulging in the requisite small talk with actual people was a very welcome relief from my own internal dialogue. Now, I am back to work at home, where my energies will definitely be put to better use - but I don’t know that I can put up with myself for too long a stretch.
Added to the dilemma, is the fact that I have found my emotional state in a somewhat regressive pattern. I am turning into the teenager that I never was. How idiotic. Here I thought that I was safe.
By virtue of choice, I keep people at a healthy arm’s length. I am a fairly solitary being (as both a friend and the duo Simon and Garfunkle have said, I am an island). Today, I can report that I already miss people. I can also report that I have a little bit of a crush on someone. What the hell is happening? An island does not develop crushes.
What to do?
Well, for starters, I stained the trim in my bathroom the other night. This morning I stripped and stained the bathroom vanity. Then, I rode my pony. I may get ambitious and work with one or two of the other horses before the day is through, but that is somewhat doubtful.
My crushee told me that he believes I have bitten off far more than I can chew in terms of the ridiculous amount of work that needs to be done in the house and on the farm in general. I have been told this multiple times before, but was always able to shrug it off. Now, I am really questioning my judgement. Thanks a lot fellow. Sadly, I trust his judgement and know that in many ways he is absolutely right. Being a closet optimist, I will try to prove both of us wrong.
So, my neighbor farmer man stopped by just now. He regaled me with a story of his tractor that caught fire yesterday and we discussed which pastures he would renting from us to grow crops this season. I don’t mind renting out the land for crops, but have firmly declared that I no longer will have corn planted here - I am not a fan of the mess it makes, the incredible amount of chemicals that go into the growing process, nor the government subsidy programs - the documentary King Corn which aired on PBS recently has only fueled my long standing disdain. So, soybeans and hay will abound. The worst part of planting season (aside from the rumble of diesel-fueled tractors at all hours) is the fertilization of the fields. Nothing smells worse than thousands of gallons of liquid cow manure wafting on the breeze.
Can life get better than this?
Uncategorized
by Billie on May 4th, 2008 • No Comments »
So last night, the pity party was in full swing. I decided to get out of the house (since I have a hard time rejecting others, the ball and chain came along) and see my friend Seth’s band at a fairly local bar.
Have I ever mentioned how very little I like bars? I am so very, very uncomfortable in that kind of atmosphere, likely as a result of my social retardation… initating actual conversation with strangers is nearly as bad as the thought of being locked in a plexiglass box with a spider. I kid you not.
So be it. I am working on learning to suck it up and kiss the spider.
The band was probably fairly good, but I am no judge, seeing as how I am not a fan of the particular genre… it was at least quite interesting. The demographic was very different than that I am accustomed to seeing at the shows I attend which actually provided a little escape from my own reality. Being the odd woman out was somehow comforting.
I saw a friend with whom I have peculiar relationship. His presence is always comforting on one level while being very disconcerting on another. Years ago, I mentally placed him on something of a pedestal, which now gives me vertigo.
I have learned about myself in the past week that even though tempted, I am able to refrain from using others’ bodies and emotions as scratching posts for my own unfulfilled yearnings. While I think the idea and practice noble, honest and absolutely right, in reality it sucks.
Once the complicated extrication is completed, I will allow myself freedom.
At least I have stepped over some of the muck.
Uncategorized
by Billie on May 3rd, 2008 • 3 Comments »
Both the farm and my emotions are mired in muck these days.
The physical mud and muck are beginning to clear up, which offers some solace. The little baby horse (still unnamed) is growing rapidly which is an absolute delight to witness. I can, and have, sat and simply watched him for hours. Granted, I am not getting much actual work done during these periods, but the time is great for introspection - or is it escape?
I have been fighting the non-energized electric fencing here for several months now, and with more woman hours than I care to count invested in the project, there is still one horse that completely defeats my efforts. Since he lets himself both into and out of pastures, I have thrown up my hands and decided to allow him to live as a free-roaming equine. Let yourself back in buddy and don’t make too much of a mess. I think it is called coexistance.
So, you can see where the emotional muck begins…
Adding to the frustration is the long known, but only in the last few months admitted and acknowledged, collapse of my long-term (human) relationship. The issue is so complicated that actual seperation is nearly impossible at this point.
Hooray.
The greatest of ironies is that others tend to think of me as something of a cheerleader. Holy hell, I can’t even lift a pompom at this point, please do not ask for more of me than small talk and trips to the coffee house.
Frankly, I wish that I liked ice cream.
Sitting in front of the TV with a mindless and pointless Kevin Smith film, comfortable blanket, pint of frozen dairy goodness and a pal seems pretty appealing just about now.
Uncategorized
by Billie on April 22nd, 2008 • No Comments »
My foal, Joey is now just over 3 weeks old. He is cute, charming and very precocious.
Last night when I went out to feed the horses their dinner, it appeared that Joey had decided to leave the hooves of his mother and move into the pasture with the Trakehner mares. Different. Usually foals stay pretty close to their dam at such a tender age.
With little difficulty and the assistance of a Great Dane that thinks the foal is another of his type, I put Joey back where he belonged and resumed my chore.
When it came time to feed Joey, Brumby and pony Hyacinth I noticed an interesting phenomenon… it seems that Joey has learned to posture as his mother does to warn Hyacinth to stay out of her space. It is quite amusing to see Joey trying out these gestures. He pins his little foal ears, lowers his neck and tries in vain to look threatening. Hyacinth, of course, does not buy into it at all.
The situation escalated to a greater comedic high when Joey decided to try and kick Hyacinth. He seems to have a grasp on the idea of kicking out with his hind legs, but lacks the balance to do so in a convincing manner. Backing up so his hind end rested on Hyacinth’s side, Joey was able to balance well enough to actually kick, but since his legs simply went into the void under her stomache, the effort achieved no result.
Ramses and I watched the scene play out, had a laugh and went on with chores.
Some of the mud has finally dried, so walking is considerably easier than it was only a few days ago. Several fence posts (that were to have been replaced last fall) are beginning to heave out of the ground, so I spent an hour or so pounding them into the ground and creating braces to keep the fence standing until such time as we can begin working in earnest at replacing posts.
I spent some time cleaning up the yard (what we have of a yard) and the asparagus patch. Soon it will be picking, cleaning, blanching and freezing season again. I think this year I will be bringing bunches in to work and letting the others have at it. It sure gets tiresome to prep 40 pounds of asparagus each spring. At least it has some nutritional value and is great in risotto.
Uncategorized
by Billie on April 16th, 2008 • 3 Comments »
At this very moment, I am finding the idea of having a farm somewhat overrated.
We are wallowing in feet of mud as far as the eye can see. It is a strong clay mud that grabs hold and only relinquishes its grasp after a long and bitter struggle. I have lost many boots in this fashion.
Regardless of the mud, the horses still need to be fed regularly, which has presented something of a difficult situation. The ruts in the lane are so deep that even our big backhoe has been getting stuck. My solution to the problem has been to create a network of little streams that allow the water to drain down the lengths of the pastures to the marshy area at the south end. These are the moments when I am most thankful for gravity.
In another moment of insanity, we were persuaded to add another animal to our household a couple of weeks ago…. I seriously have to give pause to wonder what is wrong with me here… at any rate; we now have an enormous, adult male Great Dane called Ramses in our home. He is a great dog, but the sheer amount of mud that just one dog can track into the house is astounding.
The other day my mother came over for a visit. Ramses, Nigel and Tristan (the official canine welcoming committee) greeted her at the car when she pulled in. Having not been forewarned of Ramses’ presence, and unable to reach me, my mother called Kevin.
Ring. Ring.
Hello?
Is this dog nice?
I think you have the wrong number.
Is this dog going to jump on me?
What?
Can I get out of my car?
I think you have the wrong number ma’am.
I am in the driveway and I need to know if I can get out of my car!
At this point I walked into sight and went to rescue my poor, 4’11” mother.
Once can say with certainty that life on the farm is never dull!
Uncategorized
by Billie on April 1st, 2008 • One Comment »
Once again, it has been a bit of time between my blog session, but certainly not because there is nothing to report on.
A couple of weeks ago I broke my toe. My big toe, on my right foot. I had absolutely no idea how frequently I used that toe for walking until a gallon jar of pickles fell off of a table directly onto it. The agony. The embarassment. My new nickname both at home and at work is Pickles. Oh, joy and rapture. Billie wasn’t enough of a name to be saddled with (bad pun intended).
Aside from my dreadful injury, there is actual news.
Our very first foal was born early in the morn last Friday! I have seen and been around others’ foals, but have never bred my own mare or raised my own baby. The little guy is nothing but legs and attitude as of this writing. I anticipate that with the imprinting work I have been doing with him, his will learn to recieve direction from humans with a touch more patience and agreeability as we progress.
Here is where I need help. The father is named Duncan in the German Rhineland Pfalz-Saar registry. This needs to be changed to follow proper naming convention to something beginning with an “S” as his sire is named “Sempatico”. Duncan is a really, really dark brown and white pinto and will mature to be a pretty tall horse. His mother is named “Behold Abra’s Image” if that helps to create a flash of inspiration for you, dear reader.
I have been toying with the name “Sunspot” (yes Dino, Ben and Wendy thought it was cool) or perhaps one of the following:
Seismic
Special Agent
Spellbound
Semiformal
Sequence
but I could really use help deciding. Please vote and help a girl out, or add your suggestion to the list!
Suggestions for the new baby would be helpful as well. He also needs an “S” name. The mother is an Appaloosa named “Tie Me Kangaroo Down” (we call the baby Joey for now… only because I think I am funny). The foal is really unusually marked in that he is a pinto like his sire but has some Appaloosa characteristic spots/snowflake markings on top of the pinto markings (once I have photos I will post them - you just can’t imagine how odd looking this little one is). I have no real idea what color he is yet - either dark liver chestnut or bay, but it is too soon to be sure.
How about “Something Unusual” as a name? Just imagine… were are at a show waiting for the judge to pin the class when the announcer calls out… “and in first place is Billie riding Something Unusual.”
Uncategorized
