No Bagels for Me.
I am discouraged today.
Our house is always cold. Being a fairly large 80-year-old farmhouse, this is not really a surprise, but it is not pleasant either. I cannot even begin to explain how tired I am of being cold.
The snow falling as I look out of the office window is not helping my disposition any.
We learned last night that Kevin’s dad is failing fast. The plan was that he and Kevin’s mother would move into our house this week, so we could participate in the home hospice that his dad requires and be with him through the end of his life. Sadly, Kevin’s dad is now not strong enough to make the trip and will remain at their home just outside of Chicago. We will try to make as many trips as possible, but what this really means is that Kevin will go and I will stay home to care for the animals.
It really stinks. The man is more like a father to me than my own is capable of being. All that he wanted was to retire, move to the Wausau area and spend some time at their cabin in Presque Isle. Instead, he retired just a year ago and is dying. He never even made it to the cabin again. His ashes will be spread there instead.
Last week, my grandmother passed away. A couple of months ago it was my uncle. We are rapidly running out of family.
The plans we had to build our business are rapidly fading. Luck will definitely have to be with us to even get the stall barn built.
Perhaps when I see the daffodils poking their blond heads out of the snow I will be able to put some of these emotions into perspective. In the meantime I am listening to some old school Cake and one of TMBG’s new albums, which is really for children (no Greg Brown or Rory Gallagher for me on a day like today), finding ways to distract and amuse myself.
I tried one of Sodoku puzzles that are so popular. Agony. I fail to see the appeal.
The NY Times crossword was pretty easy, being a Tuesday edition, not surprising.
Big Apple Bagels is closed again today due to an equipment issue – holy hell, nothing is so comforting as a peanut butter bagel. I have been denied.
Anne said:
I’m so sorry. I just found your blog and your sorrows.
Spring is coming. Spring is always coming. Hang on. That will help some things.
I’m especially sorry to hear about your father-in-law.
Take care as best you can. It will get better.
March 5th, 2008 at 3:59 pm #
anonemoose said:
Billie,
Living in a cold house is truly no fun. Mine is cold only because I am too cheap to heat it any more than I do. May I politely suggest that you wear an extra layer or two around the house. For me, when I sit at the computer, it is usually one or two blankets and/or a cat in the lap acting as a hot water bottle.
I am very sorry about all the losses you have faced and are facing. It is truly a difficult time for you. Only time will help to ease the pain you are feeling. I wish you as much peace as you can find in these times.
My offer to help with the stall barn stands if it will fit into my work schedule. Have you thought about putting out a more general call to the readership here at CW? I have to wonder how many other readers would sign on for an old fashioned barn raising.
If I may ask, what level of Sudoku did you try and what website was it on? I am a real geek about those things but it helps to start with the easier ones first.
If I could send you a peanut butter cookie, I would. It may not be the best substitute for a bagel but at least it is peanut butter. But alas, my cupboard is bare and I have no cookies.
Spring will be here at some point. Winter can’t last forever, it just feels that way right now.
moose
March 5th, 2008 at 10:08 pm #
Billie said:
Moose and Anne, I appreciate your kind words very much.
Moose - great suggestions. I do wear layers and have been known to wear a hat from time to time. Cats definitely help - ours are more than happy to warm laps and feet whenever opportunity arises. They are much better at this than our dogs!
As we get closer to spring, I think I will put the call out for any helpful hands who might wish to harken back to good old-fashioned barn raising. If nothing, it will help to recreate community feel that our culture seems to push away.
The Sodoku was a simple one in an actual print book that someone gave me. I did figure it out, but obscure factiods fit my personal style better than do numbers. My hat is off to anyone who does Sodoku with competence!
I broke down and had a peanut butter cup in the afternoon yesterday - still not bagelly, but peanut butter is a wonderful thing. I had Thai peanut chicken for dinner and a grilled pear, peanut butter and Raclette cheese sandwich for breakfast. Peanut butter makes everything better!
March 6th, 2008 at 10:14 am #
The Quick Pet Stop » No Bagels for Me. said:
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March 6th, 2008 at 10:50 am #