This was made in jest and is full of unfair generalizations…enjoy!
Since starting work downtown last year, I have been baffled at the omission of sidewalk etiquette. I have proudly lived in the area for most of my years, but for some reason there is general confusion on which side to walk on. There are obstacles (read: people) that may toss this rule to the wayside. Just a few examples:
The Power Packs: During the lunch hour rush, groups of people like to walk together. I understand the pack mentality; it has been around for years. But when 3-4 business people are bogarting the entire sidewalk, they are not leaving me with enough space to continue my stride. I am a fairly diplomatic person – give a little, take a little – but should one have to step in the snow and wait while this clan goes on a Panini hunt?
Languid Lovers: I personally approve of simple forms of PDA; the thought of showcasing your admiration for another human being via the clasping of hands is charming. My issue is when they actually make eye contact with you before the inevitable pass, and they choose not to adjust their conjoined swagger to make room for the fellow pedestrian.
Truffle Shuffle: (I have always wanted to use the phrase Truffle Shuffle in conversation, a la Chunk from The Goonies) This is the person who at initial glance is following the rules; they appear aware of the invisible line that splits the sidewalk in two. Their head is upright and confident, and then BAM! A diversion! (This could be in the realm of another person, a loud noise, etc.) They cross the center line. It sounds innocent enough, right? But now an awkward dance ensues, insincere glances of apology are exchanged and both are left clumsily stumbling back to their positions.
Meandering Mommas/Daddys: As a mother myself, I like to think that I am conscious of the space around me when I have my kids in tow. Although my children are past the stroller age, I noticed a disturbing trend of Cadillac-sized strollers that unavoidably take up 15% more than the allotted sidewalk lane. A simple solution would be to stop for a brief moment, while letting others circumvent your adorable child on wheels.
Bikers: A bike is a vehicle. Vehicles belong on the road. ‘Nuff said.
I hope we can all realize the errors we may have inadvertently made in sidewalk etiquette. I do offer one tip: STAY ON YOUR RIGHT SIDE. This is for the betterment of our community and my mood.
