Citizen Wausau

A Site About Life in Wausau, Wisconsin

Voice the official Citizen Wausau blog

Summer of Reflection and Realization

by on August 22nd, 2015

I have been doing it wrong.  Almost everything, doing it all wrong.  I have spent the last couple of years rather unhappy, the last year especially so; and we are making changes.  As some of you know I was released from my job in April of this year.  I decided it was time to take a moment, or several extended moments and reevaluate where things are, what we are doing, and what is making me so unhappy.

I have some incredible models to look at.  For example, Cheryl, the person I consider to be the actual talent of this website lives a life of serious meditation and conviction.  I have not actually seen her in years, but I follow her social media passionately.  It reflects a level of joy, and engagement that I find compelling.

Jim Rosenberg, who just skipped town, is another guy who I think lives life in an amazing way.  I used to hate the narrative I understood of him, but after watching him and getting to know him, again this is a guy engaged in the world in a cool way.  And for all the real life battles, that guy never seemed to take it personally.

My friend Jessica is an inspiration.  Early single mom, rural upbringing, the whole bit.  She overcame all of it, now she is a professor, scientist, and in a loving relationship.

Me, on the other hand, I suffer from serious isolation, alienation, misdirected anger, intimacy issues, and a lot of shame.  I made bad choices here, and in a lot of other places as well.  I have spent the summer trying new things, doing active meditation, exercising, traveling, and trying to examine where I disconnected from what I wanted to do.

In this case, what I wanted to do here.  We started this website a long time ago, three of us.  Now we are sort of down to me.  Being honest, I did not dig this for a long time.  I had grown resentful of what I had become, the story I was telling over and over again.  I was not showing you anything.  I was often times pandering just to get something up on the page, not that anyone read it.  I just did not want it to be over, but I did not have an idea of what to do to keep it going.  I was out of direction.

The nice thing about losing a job you think you are good at, you get to watch people follow you and you can be a critic of them, and their mistakes.  And, I think I burned out that experience in the first couple of months.

So, look, I want to write about things that I care about.  That is the only way this is going to work.  I need to engage my community in a new way, in a fresh way.  So, I am going to change directions.  I want to ask YOU for some help.

My email is dino at citizenwausau dot com.

If you have a meeting you want me to come to, if you want to talk to me, if you want to have coffee and tell me a story you think I might want to write, hit me up.  If you want to tell me how you think Mayor Tipple is corrupt, or whatever, fine.  I do not care that much.  I will try to go to City Council meetings more often these days, but honestly we know what they have to say.

But, if you have a neighborhood meeting I can sit in, a nonprofit you want me to check out, a cool dog in your neighborhood, whatever.  I am in.

I go to the Weston Dog Park a couple of times a day on most days, I work on a couple of new podcasts, and I want to get back to the Y.  And I should try to find a job.  But, if you want to talk to me, I want to hear from you.

I can only try to make a valid effort.  And show up more often.  I blew it the last couple of years, but I learned this summer that I am interested in hearing about your story.  Most stories are interesting.  So, let’s try to shine a light on some cool stuff.

Tags & Categories