by Melissa Sullivan on December 19th, 2008
This happens to me every year during the week before Christmas. Most of the other 51 weeks of the year, I’m a model of efficiency and organization. I know exactly where each member of our family needs to be and when. I know which items are the most important on my to-do list, and how I will get them done. I can quickly determine the whereabouts of my son’s missing Lightning McQueen, or pinpoint the exact location of my daughter’s other dance shoe.
But during this week each year, I turn into a crazy freak. I am overwhelmed by the constant buying, returning, gift-wrapping, baking, cleaning, errand-running, party-planning, menu-making, sending of cards, and decorating that needs to be fit into my already busy schedule. The weird thing is that I have scaled my Christmas activities down to only those things that I truly enjoy, but it’s still all just too much. It all makes me very cranky. I swear that if Shawn mentions one more time how much he loves Christmas, I will punch him in the face. Now, I’m quite certain that Christmas is not intended to inspire such feelings. It’s enough to make the Baby Jesus cry. Clearly, I am missing something.
1. So, my first question is: How do you tame the Christmas Crazies? Or are you as insane as me?
2. Do you send Christmas cards? This is a task I could eliminate, but I truly enjoy receiving them. And alas, to continue to receive them, I must give them.
3. Do you like reading Holiday Letters that sometimes accompany Christmas cards? Or do you find them annoying? I love them. Even the ones full of bragging or mundane details. Shawn and I both have large families, and those letters are sometimes the only news we get. Shawn writes our letter each year, and he does a fabulous job. It’s an Onion-inspired newspaper theme that makes fun of this wacky family of ours, especially the kids. We’ve had several distant relatives tell us they anxiously wait for it each December. My aunt told me she brings it to work every year so her coworkers can have a laugh at our expense. But I’m sure there are just as many others who find it obnoxious. Oh well…can’t please everyone!
4. Do you make resolutions? I gave up on that a while back, but I do evaluate my life and come up with a few goals I’d like to work on throughout the year. I eliminate things that aren’t working for me, and try to start new habits that will enrich my life in some manner. For 2009, I am thinking about running a half-marathon and volunteering at The Neighbor’s Place.
5. Do you volunteer? I’m very careful about volunteering, but I do it when it feels right. My time is precious, and I only want to spend it on things that speak to my heart. For example, I volunteer in my daughter’s classroom, but I wouldn’t want volunteer to assemble a mailing at the school. The mailing may be important, but I want to get the maximum personal benefit for the limited time I’m able to give. That sounds selfish. Is it OK to volunteer for selfish reasons?
by Melissa Sullivan on October 15th, 2007
An Open Letter to the Presumably Young Vandals Who Smashed My Kids’ Pumpkins
Dear Miscreants,
A few days ago, we took our kids, ages 4 & 2, to Helene’s Hilltop Orchard to choose pumpkins to carve into their first-ever jack-o-lanterns. The kids went on a hayride that we thoroughly enjoyed while other passengers endured my son’s excited shouts about being driven by a real tractor. After enjoying a snack of apple dumplings and chocolate milk, my sugar-fueled kids ran around the pumpkin patch while Grandma helped them choose the perfect pumpkin. It was just the type of perfect fall day I had envisioned three years ago when we moved our kids here from the over-taxed, smog-ridden, crime-infested cesspool I fondly call Milwaukee.
Those yet-to-be-carved pumpkins were on our porch less than 12 hours when you reckless bandits smashed them to pieces in our driveway.
While my four-year-old helped me clean up the mess the next morning, she asked me repeatedly, “Mommy, why did the mean people do this?” Hmm…good question, indeed. You’re probably the same misfits who threw an egg at my neighbor’s car last week. But what makes a teenager, who not ten years ago was carving their own jack-o-lanterns, want to mar the Halloween experience for other kids?
Young delinquents such as yourselves often like to put the blame on society. Your lives are entirely controlled by adults, and society doesn’t send positive messages to your generation. You’re not allowed to skateboard in public, and you’re treated like a criminal when you walk into a store carrying a backpack. With all of the reasons you find to feel put down by society, I guess I’m supposed to be grateful you just smashed our pumpkins instead of shooting up your school.
Or maybe your concerns are a little less idealistic and a little more selfish. Your mom won’t buy you the Hollister hoodie you want, or the girl you like totally trashed you on MySpace.
It’s also possible you smashed my kids’ pumpkins for no other reason than you wanted to feel brave and look cool in front of your friends. If that’s the case, then it’s pretty rich that in the midst of your cowardly run from our yard, you tripped on the ropes holding up our big inflatable pumpkin with such force that you ripped them from the ground and knocked it over. I’m guessing when you were sprawled out on my lawn face-first, looking pretty much like a moron; your friends had a good laugh at your expense. I would have paid to have seen that, but I arrived on the front porch about twenty seconds too late.
After pondering all of these reasons for your deviant behavior and trying to come up with something to tell my 4-year-old, I realized that I didn’t really have any good answers for her. I just told her that sometimes people make bad choices without thinking of others feelings. I told her that when she has a choice to make, I hoped that she would remember how it feels when people do mean things to you. As she grows, we’ll continue to have talks about personal responsibility so she learns that while being mistreated by others is an unfortunate part of the human condition, perpetuating the misfortune by mistreating others is not a productive solution.
Maybe you don’t have parents who will have these talks with you, or maybe they did and you just didn’t listen because your parents are so, like, uncool. At any rate, I hope you had fun, or whatever it was that you were hoping to experience, with the whole pumpkin smashing experience.
Sincerely,
Yet Another Ranting Adult You Won’t Listen To
