Ritual and Expansion
This week I have been reading about ritual, and I have always aspired to a more ritualized life. A strong sort of pattern can often be comforting, so throughout my life when I have felt it slipping sideways I have sought out the stability of things like ritual. Now as I grasp control of my life, with the support of the people around me, I am thrilled to have this be a reality.
I look at ritual a little bit too much like a perimeter in a war zone, a metaphor I have stolen from my friend Henry. I have these boundaries on my life, and within them I am free and safe to do anything I like. I can be as creative as possible, and as wild as possible. Right now a part of my perimeter is the 1800 calories a day, and within that I can do whatever I want. If I want to have 1800 calories of cookies, I can. It is an incredibly liberating thing to be allowed to have that control.
So, I tend to like ritual in the evening prior to bed, as it allows me to signal to my brain that it is time to sleep. I cant really do much in bed due to my eye condition, so I am not one to read or watch TV in bed, as I technically cannot see. So I thought I would lay out the parts of the ritual, pre bed, and maybe morning (though morning is more of an aspiration at this point).
Each night I do the following…
1. Neti. I have done the Neti since college, and I find it to be the most soothing part of the end of the day. To clean my sinuses, and allow proper airflow is important, and part of me believes in the ayurvedic school of thought Jackie and I lived in college.
2. Brush and Floss. I do not have a power bursh, just your standard oral B. I love my dentist, but never want to see him, so tooth care is a big deal.
3. Wash my face. I used to use Oil of Olay that I got from my friend, but now I am onto Nutrogena, or however you spell it. I get dry skin, and it is a good option.
4. Vitamins. I take a multi, and fish oil, and vitamin C. In the winter I add St Johns Wort, but that is to deal with the SAD that comes from short days and no sunlight.
5. I poop. The metformin does this too me. So, I poop.
Then I shut down the house. I power down my computer, shut off the stereo, and pack for the next day. I ask El Hershbo to make room for me.
Then I put in my eye ointment, Muro 128 (In case someone wants to send me a lifetime supply). Then I stumble to the bed, and lay down and go to bed. I pet Hershall Bernardie and we talk for a bit, and then we go to sleep.
Typically I am in bed by midnight, but I long to be asleep sooner than that, as I want more than anything to be a morning guy.
In the morning…its sort of a haze.
Wake up.
Go pee.
Wash my eyes out, and put in Refresh tears
Brush Teeth
Shave with my Gilette Fusion Razor. For years it was another one, but this one has sort of won my face. I am a hairy guy, so I must shave often.
Take El Hersbo out to pee
Then take shower and get dressed.
I aspire to drink tea in the morning, but that has not worked out so well.
So instead I focus on a grab and go breakfast of about 300 calories.
Sigh. That turned out kind of dull.
Expansion.
Tonight I am returning to strength training at the Y. Tom has sparked it in me, and El Hershbo is up north, so I have to do something to move me over hte top to the next level. I think that returning to the gym will be good for me. In college I was a gym rat, and I have giant metaphysical things about lifting weights and fitness, all of which were abandoned over time.
I also have found a new yoga teacher, Annie. I want to make a yoga practice a part of my daily life.
Thanks for being supportive. It means a lot.