So nothing bothers me more than when my mom or my doctor is right. I totally hate that stuff, but it happens. Today it happened, and it was a lesson I started learning in college.
I have had a rough week. A lay in bed all weekend week. Both professionally and personally, this week has been no fun for me. I knew it was crap on like tuesday. I braced myself by doing extensive working out, both in the morning, and evening with the dog. I knew that the endorphins would help me sleep, and that sleep was essential to my emotional life.
What I forgot about is that your emotions can be tied directly to your blood sugar. Today I did not eat breakfast, then had a few spoons of left over friend rice for lunch. By five o’clock I was in an emotional frenzy that I could barely support. The day had gone sideways in the morning, and by five o’clock it appeared it was a total loss.
I was hungry. Very very hungry. I knew I was hungry becaue the swirling felt too large for the context of the day. So I knew it was something else. I drove home from my job and decided to screw it, I was going to taco bell. I can get mountain dew and taco like items, and I can get them quick.
By the time I was done ordering, I was shocked at the amount of food I had ordered. I got home and sat down to eat it. As I ate, I knew it was too much, but honestly the act of eating at that point was all I needed. So I ate and ate and ate.
After I was done, I was high. My emotional life had swung back to a sort of blissed out stupidity, and there I was. But I knew what it was, that it was the high from the food, and not from anything else.
I know this is a bad habit to maintain, and honestly I do not maintain it. But today, I was upset, and the over eating boosted the sugar who knows what. Tomorrow I will get back on my eating time schedule, and it will all be okay.
But today was bad, and I ate taco bell.