Today at work I have had a Mary J Blige record on in the background all day, over and over again. I love Mary J. She really delivers on the vocal promise of so many that have failed before her.
She has a song where she sings the words “I can be happy” over and over again. It got me thinking about something positive. It got me to the idea of ‘act as if’.
I think sometimes when we are feeling blue, or not on the road we want to be on, then all we need to do sometimes is let ourselves see the way off of that bad path. We have to be able to say the words I can be happy, I can change, and I can have what I want.
I do not like to say those things, not even to myself. And I know today that it is a mistake to not say them. I am scared to say them, because I am scared of what is next. I am scared of that big change. But, that big change comes for someone, and it might as well be me.
We have to give ourselves permission to want it, to need it, to deserve it. We have to say it.
I think of my friend Scott Holt. Far more talented than the stages he climbs on. He is always the best performer whatever club he is in has seen in that whole year. But, Scott sometimes has these runs of bad luck, bad gigs, and all the rest. At no point does the show change, at no point have I ever seen Scott deliver a different show than he does on the largest stage, in front of thousands of people.
Scott gives himself permission to be his greatest self every night.
We can all give ourselves permission.