I feel like something changed in me over the past few weeks. I feel good in my body, and my mind, and my spirit. I feel progress in my health, and my wellness. And through all this, I have felt supported and actually groovy. And that word brings me to Tom Neal.
I think I met Tom about ten years ago. We both walked into a Great Northern Blues Society meeting, and I think our friendship was natural. I know that Tom looked at me as someone in need of a mentor, and while I fought that, I knew I needed one. He was a great friend, and the most subtle teacher in the world, in fact often times I think I had to go back and review what we talked about just to make sure I learned what I wanted to learn from him.
One of the things that Tom talked about all the time was the art of being groovy or being groovy or groovy itself. I have always hated that word, and all that come along with it. I was and am a child of punk rock, and a direct descendent of the tribe of Iggy Pop. I was an am rather self destructive, and often times nihilistic.
But, over the past 6 months, I have found myself returning again and again to that which is truly important. The groove of life, the ebb and flow of the spirit, and the fact that we are LONG on this Earth, and often times it is easier to get a long than it is to fight. Even if we want, we need to remember that the universe feeds us, and we can find that in the moment.
I used to jokingly write these posts about I need to kill Jim Carlson, or say things like I hate that someone taught me a lesson. But that was just as karmically self defeating as punching myself in the face, or screaming at a cop during a traffic stop.
Tom taught me that. I did not know it at the time, and in all fairness, I resented it I am sure on a level I did not understand. But Tom taught me that slow and steady gets me there, and cool and calm helps me succeed. All the passion and fire bring the results, but often times they can be self defeating. And Tom taught me that.
The moment is undeniable. Sure, some of us pick up shovels and do the work of this world, but so does everyone. When we are dancing, we are dancing. Those moments, the Tom Neal Groovy moment, that moment is in my life now. In a way that it was not before.
Thanks Tom, sorry it took me this long to get it.