My friend Dr. Rent has his Law of Unintended Consequences. Today, I think I met that sort of face to face in the least fun manner I can think of. I was left sort of sitting at my desk feeling like garbage. It made me remember a scene in a movie from long ago that I truly liked.
The movie would be “As Good as it Gets” starring Helen Hunt, Jack Nicholson, and Greg Kinnear. For those of you who have not seen it, let me suggest it. It is a lovely James Brooks movie and it is truly a lot of fun. Nicholson plays a successful romance writer, who I think is OCD, or something. He might just be afraid of the world, one can never tell with this sort of stuff.
He regularly eats at the same restaurant, and has the same waitress (Hunt) and orders the same thing. One day he learns that her child is sick, and because he is sick she cannot make it to work.
So, he pays a doctor to go to her home, make a house call, and start treatment of her asthmatic son. This tremendous act of kindness, from a crazy man, is a simple act of kindness that has nothing to do with Hunt really. But, the need of Melvin to get her back at his table, so he can eat.
But, in her head Hunt thinks that something else is going on. Something far more manipulative, or something. She takes the time to go to Udalls house, in the rain, and announce that “I am not going to have sex with you.” Udall had not considered this, ever. He simply wanted his waitress back.
I remember seeing this on screen, and just cringing. The preemptive rejection of Udall, leaves nothing but a wreck of a man. And it was totally unneeded. Udall had not thought about sleeping with Hunt, or anything of that. In a move of class, he shuts the door, and goes on his way. The movie goes from there.
But, it is that act, the preemptive no, the result of a kindness, rings true to me today. I think we experience this sort of thing. Or rather, I did and do often. It is humiliating, and sort of self fulfilling. I mean I know I am not attractive, on many or any levels. Few redeeming qualities are possessed by me, and I understand that.
But, sometimes you just want to do something nice for someone you care about on some level. And sometimes the discussion that results from that kindness is just simply shitty, and humiliating. I bought someone a gift, and cracked a joke (a joke that has been funny in the past), but today the joke was less funny and I needed Helen Hunt to show up at my door and tell me she is not going to have sex with me.
I do not know why I am blogging about this. I am pretty sure this is a giant mistake, but so it goes. I do not understand this human behavior of preemptively setting a boundary that has never been approached. I feel like a dick tonight. I just do.