I have been thinking about patterns these days. The same things, come up from time to time, and they lead to the same sort of resulting behavior or stimulus. This week was festival upset week it seems. I have no investment either socially or personally in this particular festival. But, I used to. And I care about it very much, and in my opinion it never lives up to potential. And, every year I get emails and phone calls about this or that part of it. And I take these calls, and talk to these people, and then the possibility comes, and then inevitably the process leaves me feeling wounded.
The fest is the fest. And I could honestly care less about it. Millions of people love it, it is a success, and invariably I attend and enjoy myself. So the issue is not that, but rather these phone calls and emails that pop up in my life around this time of year.
What is interesting is, we all have this stuff. This person, or this time of year or this change in season. And it levels some of us, and we end up on the couch, crying in our pajama bottoms. Or we end up eating or drinking too much.
It is an interesting concept in that we allow these things to walk into the open doors of our lives, and they do damage. You would think I would know better than to simply not talk to certain people about certain topics. But, the topic comes up, and i invariably pick it up and off I go. Knowing full well that the path I am on is going to end in corn dogs and 20 hours in bed. But, we pick them up every year.
This year, for the most part I handled this pattern differently. I was unwilling to accept the usual shenanigans from the callers and emailers. I refused to do the usual dance. And, it helped a little bit, but I still ended up taking last night off. And was angry all night, and am stilll angry today. So, it is not enough to change a small part in the pattern, you must change that pattern all together. And in the case of this most recent one, I totally know how I am going to do that. And I am excited.
marekinc
11:42 am on February 10th
I understand exactly about what you are talking. I am one who sees himself as a straight talker — no passive voice, use the active voice so we know who is doing what to whom. I also like to travel with Frank and Earnest. Why beat around the bush? I’ve also been one to use profane language. All of this, in one part or another, apparently “offends” people. So this me in a bit of a box. To avoid offending people, you have to beat around the bush, hem and haw, or remain totally quiet or leave the discussion. AS hard as it is for me, I’m more and more leaving the discussion, because I know where people are taking me in their attacks — they are trying to incite my anger. So I leave and go be angry alone. The problem is that these offended-sensitive people leave thinking they have won the debate, that I am a fool, and they do not get to hear my opinion, which I present in a straight-forward way, even it does include some profanity. Given today’s movies and songs, having been in combat, having played on sports teams, having sat in Wausau taverns and pubs etc, I have lost the bubble on what is profane and why a person might be offended when I use it when they listen to it in all those other forums all the time. ‘Tis a strange world. At the end of the day, one has little choice but to be himself-herself. One has to be true to himself-herself. So, Dino, I would say that you deprived people of knowledge when you refused to do the usual dance, and simply jacked up your bloodpressure.