The Roy’s:Episode Two
March 21st, 2008
Episode Two
… and ultimately blossoms into a tale of two tails. However, for accuracy, this story begins around that in which many a young boy seeks out … precisely, a piece of tail.
I was about twenty years old at the time, and recently had worn out my welcome in the Central Wisconsin area. A petty thief and a stoner, I had taken my turn visiting local institutions and by this point had been worn very thin. I was unhappy in the area, longed for greater things, and subsequently decided that a change of scenery was well overdue.
I had decided to move west to Minneapolis, hoping that the big city would stimulate some kind of personal epiphany. Having always been the master of thwarting instant gratification, I immediately threw everything I owned into my vehicle and took off. In my wallet was enough money for one month’s rent, two bean burritos, and a bar of soap … if I was lucky. I didn’t plan, I didn’t think, I just packed my bags with a copy of the Star Tribune and hit the road.
My plan for living arrangements was a simple one. Get to the city, find an apartment in my price range, and beg them to give it to me. For the most part, and thankfully so, that’s how it went down. On the first stop, I ended up finding a minuscule studio apartment downtown. I just walked right in, plunked down my money, and it was a done deal. Things like that never happen, although there was a slight kicker. The kitchen was about one by one foot, about the same in the bathroom, and the bed folded up into the only closet. I won’t throw out the term ghetto quite yet, but not really close to being even remotely nice would be an appropriate phrase. I really didn’t care, I had a panoramic view of the city right out my one tiny window, and although it was far from the Trump Towers, I spent the entire evening staring aimlessly at the skyline as the cockroaches, of whose species I had never seen before, watched with me in sick harmony.
I believe I just spent that first day just kinda holed up, kinda scared, and kinda hopped up on some kind of fear laden adrenaline rush. My wallet at the time; no joke, had exactly three dollars in it. Famished, I roamed around the greater downtown area in search of that elusive Taco Bell. Two burritos and a Coke later, the money had vanished.
To add to the miserable elation, I had started smoking in high school and by this time the nicotine cravings were pounding every fiber in my body. The burritos had already eaten my three dollars, leaving me with severely limited options. So, proud as I was, for that first day, I picked up half smoked butts out of the Hennepin County Medical Center smoking area’s ashtrays. I was so worried at the time someone would see me, and I would pick them up invisible man style, darting in and out of doorways, till I had my fill.
The solution was obvious of course. I desperately needed a job, which would have been a semi-intelligent thing to think about in advance, but as I stated earlier, I wasn’t necessarily one to wait around. I just took things second by second. As I ended day one in the city, I remember an excitement that I can’t recall ever feeling again. Perhaps, this is a good thing, but either way, I rested well that night, and prepared for the elusive job search that would start in the morning.
I awoke right as the sun came up the next morning, put on my most respectable white boy clothes, grabbed a newspaper and prepared for a long day of applications and disappointment. Little did I know that …
(Stay tuned for Episode Three.)
deepintheheart said:
This is cool in several ways. Most of all because I knew you before this episode and our paths intersected during the mid 90’s. Fills in some blanks in your story–not that I was wondering. But since you are writing it, I am reading. Plus it is good writing.
March 22nd, 2008 at 5:18 am #
Alex said:
Good, and thanks.
P.S. I never could get into the Dead Milkmen … I gave it a boy scout try though.
March 22nd, 2008 at 11:17 am #